


Disregard

by Afido



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 16:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afido/pseuds/Afido
Summary: At first this story was planned by a thoughtful research of the Force Chains.But it slipped into the Theron's mental suffering about female's ignorance (If I knew obscent slang idioms I'd use it insted).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I desperately need comments on grammar and semantic errors.  
> My English far from good and I have to translate from my native language, in which the order of the words in the sentence and the commas are put completely differently than in English. I did everything that I could.  
> If reading makes you vomit, excuse me in advance)))

The end.  
The journey to Hell is over, the path turned abruptly in another direction, but the light of happiness, peace or even hope did not illuminate the horizon for some reason.  
Probably, this always happens: a large, overly complex and intolerable-righteous Case justifies all means and allows you to think only of it.  
About nothing more.  
About no one.  
But it's time for the Cause to end, there is free time, from which thoughts begin to climb up to mind, like devils from dark crevices. The most grandiose, annoying and filthy of which: was it really the end and not the beginning of a new, even more impossible? Probably suffering is something permanent, but passing from one state to another, changing the disguises, germinating with poisonous roots in the different spheres of life.  
Exhausted by fatigue Theron found himself in the cantina, among those, who celebrating the victory of the Alliance over the madness of the immortal Emperor. He easily ignored the joy of his coworkers and looked sadly at the Commander, who was making herself drunk sullen and methodically. He tried to recall how many times he at least hugged her from the moment he arrived at Odessen.

Among all the pain and loss of those days, they could find solace and support in each other, butinsted of it indulged in thoughtless sex as another way to at least forget about the burden of responsibility lying on their shoulders.  
The initiator always was she. She visiting him in the evenings after returning from the campaigns, sometimes for a short time she invited him to her quarters. That memorable day it was she, who summoned him to a private conversation and she said those beautiful words: "I agree to everything, if it means to be here, with to you."  
What is has changed or was not been destined to happen this intention? Or maybe it's too soon to expect anything more, because the non-obvious threats still has power?  
After the case when the Commander disappeared in the wilds of Odessen, Theron sent her a letter full of anxiety and hope. He couldn’t wait for the invitation, and dared to tell his desire to be with her at least that evening, to feel her presence, but received only a kiss in the cheekbone, smeared as a blow, and a dry refusal, followed by a horrible message in the dead of night.  
"You feel something is wrong, but I see Vitiate more often and more clearly.  
He tempts and our connection is strengthened every day. He's in my head, but I'm not going to let him penetrate my soul. We must withhold our feelings, otherwise he will certainly use them and will find the most painful points, and ruin everything we decided to fight for. Our destinies have ceased belong only to us and now I understand a little more about what the accursed Jedi Codex reiterates. I do not like this understanding, but I have to minimize the risks that depend on my actions.  
Try to understand. "  
He realized that similar motives forced his own mother to abandon him. But does it became easier to anybody? And at the same deceitful marsh of self-sacrifice, he personally helped to draw in a woman who seemed to be the least inclined to this? He unsuccessfully tried to convince himself that his merit is minimal, because Lana initially recruited her. Further immersion in the problems of the Alliance is entirely the own initiative of the Wrath of the Empire. Nevertheless, resentment and anger did not want to let him go.  
Surprisingly, their intimate meetings did not ceased, although they became extremely rare. However, the burning, unconcerned Sith passion and only the fragile tendrils of tenderness that had just begun to rise again been replaced to some ice mechanical satisfaction of primitive needs. Any tenderness from Theron has been ignored if it counts as superfluous by her personal scale.  
"I do not want pervert who live in hy head and read my mind to watch our intimacy. Do you want to? " she explained with a grin.  
Apparently, without an admixture of emotions thought could be concealed.  
The shrouded cold of indifference was pouring Theron for too long, so that any other could fall into despair, but he was tolerated. He never experienced lighthearted happiness, didn’t see him in others, and did not really believe if it exists at all. But he hoped: the end of the war would come, the immortal madman would release the mind of the one who had captured Theron's thoughts and would feels little easier at last.

Wha’t now? In the morning, Theron watched as the lovers returned from this war and fell into each other's embrace, their happiness of reunite was almost palpable, while the Commandant's heavy glance forbade even to approach her. Something happened and it did not concern anyone. No one but ...  
Wrath of the Empire, Commander of the Alliance, The Empress Forsaken, she walked slowly along the base, accompanied by Arkann and his mother.  
They were silent, even when the inhabitants of the base approached with congratulations or simply in a fit of universal joy, Senya only tried to give everyone a warm, radiant smile.  
When the three entered the vaults of the buildings, they turned around among the idle crowd to look meaningfully at each other's faces, still without words. Then Senia touched both of her companions by the shoulders, like the priest of the newlyweds - to hold each other hands would be enough- she smiled briefly and disappeared into the shadows of the rooms. The Commander and Arkann for a few more moments continued their seemingly extremely strained silent dialogue, then they nodded synchronously and parted away. Theron bitterly managed to suddenly notice and realize that the usual burned scar covering the whole right side of the Commandant's face mirrors the mutilation of her now-former enemy ...

Nine.  
Theron hugged her nine times. Alone, in silence and not for long.  
The commandant knocked over another glass and closed her eyes. Then she lowered her head and with obvious force pressed on the bridge of her nose before replacing the absent facial expression with the spiritualized one and slowly, tiredly get up. It took a few seconds for the views of those present to turn to the low figure of their leader with a speech at the ready.  
“We won!” she says loudly and insinuatingly in her low voice and raised the glass. Theron notices that it was from this glass that she did not drink today - not the heavy swill that she had already loaded herself enough. In appearance, you need to set an example of an almost healthy lifestyle. Sith, who sets an example - what an absurdity! From all sides came the cheers of "cheers!", "For victory!".  
“Today we rewrote history! Our association, our Alliance became the dominant force in the known space. From now on we are the very power of punishing justice. And we achieved this all together, but each of us individually. We still have a lot of work to do, a lot of new, complex solutions and tests, but today and a few days later you should rest and rejoice for yourself. I insist. And now, we will raise glasses for friends, relatives and relatives. For those who are no longer with us and those who will someday join us. To us! To the galaxy!”  
The applauses and shouting "to us!", "horray!" fell. Then the joyful hum and the ringing of glasses returned to the hall.  
The commander sank to her place, furtively looked around and flung the glass down in one gulp. External alienation returned to her. After sitting a little more, she again reached for the bottle of strong alcohol, but decided to leave the cantina altogether instead.  
Theron followed, but the Commander diligently ignored his presence.  
“What's happening?” asked Theron when they were in her room. The commander looked him over with an empty glance over her shoulder and fell onto the bed, as was, in armor.

"I can not help if you do not tell me anything. Is the Emperor still in your head?”

"Not really.” she said “Everything that moves the Sith is tangible. Force is every unrestricted movement of the body. Power is authority. And the authority is money and someone's tightly clasped throat. Anger is a spray of warm blood. Passion is the lover's hot body. I have none of this left. I can not touch gratitude, duty and someone else's happiness.”

Theron bit his tongue. And what about himself? ..


	2. Chapter 2

The air thickened to a stifling jelly.

Frankly, it was unbearable to be worthless for anyone again.

Once, Teron did not worry about it, ranking himself among the nomadic loners, confident that happiness is some kind of ephemeral freedom from serious obligations, responsibility, affection and, most importantly, mental anguish. After a while he realized how wrong he was. If people wishing to spend life with him were lining up, then such a view of things would probably have been justified. But the persons with whom he shared leisure and bed, often disappeared as quickly as they appeared. Everyone wanted to get something, giving for it as little as possible. And suddenly situation turned out that the number of his connections is just the degree of vacuum loneliness, and not a sport interest, much less a subject for pride.

 

Lying on her stomach, the Commandant looked tired, lost, deeply unhappy. And despite the monstrous savagery and injustice of all the words that she had dropped, hу wanted to hold her for the tenth time.

He needed to stop.

Theron recalled how often he observed the art of Sith manipulation in the forefront, on the right hand, how many times people went against themselves and all logic in general. She could play with him, this little tricky bastard. After close acquaintance with one of the most dangerous Sith now living, you’d become, perhaps, paranoid. Any kind of hypocrisy at all began to seem to Theron as opened gates to the Dark Side. Every awkward squeeze of a random lieutenant, every excessive emotion of some Twi'lek in cantina, a passive frown of a colleague - all this turned into a hideous grins, and the ability for his SIS-work to recognize the lie fails through time. Besides, how do you know for sure if the Emperor remained in the Commander's head, even as a particle? And if so, who is the puppet master of this unhealthy theater? Maybe both?

 

Theron could not take offense or admit reproach, so he began to calm his own tormentor, trying not to hate himself.

 

“Do not complain about lack of strength and power, because you are their embodiment: you are the head of the colossal independent association in the galaxy. People follow you, respect, be sure, fear, if you like.”

 

A barely perceptible sensation that he knows exactly what, or rather who causes this conversation, and perhaps all the current events, allowed him to continue with confidence.

 

"Yes, I can understand that your desire to preserve your position and present reputation is contrary to the natural needs of the Sith, but you can destroy the rest of the royal family at least. You can quench your hungry for blood and will please the whole world. Is this not your power? Or do you regret having refused the throne?”

 

_ Destroy him. _ Theron suppressed this phrase with some effort, but the Commander sensed.

 

“I recommend never mention Arkann again.”

“Then why the hell did you bring him in here?!”

The Commander sat down, unnaturally crossing her legs, which were bound in boots, and looked intently at Theron.

"Yes, I can understand," she mocked, "why the guy is at least disliked, but I get furious with the thought that my colleagues doubt my decisions. Is this power to you ?! I'll tell you something about power, darling. People follow me just because in case of defeating there was someone to blame and exponentially execute. Yes, they bow to me as a hero, but everything will be completely different, you'll see. Not very soon maybe, but merit will be remembered, they will remember my past, then they will study each of my actions and be sure that the content will be much less satisfied. There will appear experts who will argued, as if I did otherwise, the outcome would be better. Less victims, less time spent, for example. I'm sure you will get it too, but it's hardly as severe. Arkann is now more useful than anyone I know and this benefit outweighs any risk, especially the discomfort of the population, including yours. He must feel better than at home. And we will stop at last.”

“Forgive me. I've been trying to ..." Theron hesitated, looking for an alternative to  _ comfort _ " ...to ask how I can help you. "

"Thank you, Theron, but you unable to help me."

 

Completely crushed, Theron left the Commander's room and walked away. He moved towards the observation deck, where he found several seeming bored inhabitants of the station and a peaceful, relaxed Arkanna on the bench. Why this bastard was so ubiquitous? The prince leaned back in his seat, staring at the stars, he was looked like a farmer after a hard day at the plantation, he just did not whistle under his breath to complete the appearance. Well, and change the pretentious impractical outfit. Each time Theron wanted to sarcasticize on this topic, but the ideal occasion, oddly enough, did not turn up. Theron shook his head, driving away the delusion. He moved closer, leaned his shoulder against the wall at such a distance that his words could be heard, but further than a friendly conversation suggests.

“So where did you settle, I don’t get it?”

"Far enough to disturb someone's peace with my close presence." Arkann replied without turning his head. "Besides, they they're watching me, so you don’t have to worry."

"Who watching you?"

“Everyone”

“What do you mean everyone? The Commander gave you a word and I know for certain that she did not give the opposite orders, even secretly.”

“I was sure that you gave”

“No, I always follow the Commander's instructions.”

"Why do you never call her by name? It's amazing: A ....”

“Don’t you dare!"  Theron urgently interrupted him, pulling himself off the wall and coming closer.

“The fact that she trusts you does not give you the right to be familiar. For you she is Commander. No more, no less.”

"And in private?"

“Know your place!”

Arkann only smirked.

"Then ask Lana." Maybe it was she who disobeyed? Or maybe someone else ... "  The prince leaned back against the bench, demonstrating his intention to end the conversation.

 

Why did he need to know anything about Arkan if it’s not connected with security? Surveillance is fine, he can prevent ...  well, something. The only thing was interesting - who violated the order, because it turns out that the Commandant is right at the expense of her position. Boiling with anger, Theron rushed back to the cantina, to ask a lot of questions to Lana, the rest and, if possible, got drunk and forgot.

 

He managed to carry out only the last item of the list - got drunk, Lana eventually found him herself.

"He teases you and plays interpretations. Everyone is really watching him, each one separately. The reason the Commander gave him complete freedom is known only to her, so people are afraid. What crazy thoughts crawling through their minds? It is better to be always alert. I do not intend to guess about everything else, even if you are in turmoil. Try to give her some time.

Lana was right almost always.

 

Five days later, early in the morning, when Theron was about to begin his work duties, Commander flew in through the open door and clung to him like an octopus it’s victim. Her kisses like bites, her hands are strangled like tentacles and clothes she literally tore.

"Are you sure that you spent five years in carbonite, and not among the witches of Dathomir?"

"Be quiet ..." she hissed hotly right into his ear, every moment when Theron intended to say something.

The act akin to rape, was remembered for a long time by Theron. They never stayed alone for a long from this time.

 

After another week, he hardly squeezed through the crowd on the lower observation deck and saw the fierce dueling dance of Commander and her former enemy. Former? With such frenzy and passion, you can only beat someone you hate, right? Light swords carved dazzling flares, the bodies of rivals wrote unimaginable pirouettes with astounding speed, the Commander roared like a wild beast, and the audience hooted, shouted comments, applauded. Theron could not figure out what was going on and only blindly asked to the right and to the left "what is going on, why does nobody still not  _ removed  _ this swirling white spot _. _

 

“Are you insane? This is a demonstration fight!” said someone with whom Theron was not personally acquainted. 

"Have they just decided to show?"

“No, like for a week announced”.

 

What?..

Lana replied that she did not know why he was not awared. Probably because the Commander had no time to tell him in person?

 

"He wants to kill you."

It became impossible to talk to Commander alone. On the base she moves with the speed of the teleport, and all the rest of the time spends in the campaigns, so Theron dared break into her chambers in the middle of the night. Sleepy Commander looked like a thin, skinny girl of about 14, but only a stiff, deep voice sharply disconcerted with the image of a disheveled nymph.

"That's not what he wants."

"Why are you so sure?" I literally feel his dislike for everything that's happening here.

"Firstly, you forgot about my request not to mention him, and secondly, you do not feel anything. We see each other through the Force. I know exactly where he is, what he is doing and what he is up to”

The insinuating calm tone did not leave a trace of innocence in Commander’s appearance, and every slightest movement of her body radiates power again.

"Find yourself a place and sit down."

 

Theron felt guilty and, contrary to an acute desire to get settled on the bed, hid himself in the nearest corner. Commander tracked his actions at first, then got up and began to dress unhurriedly, moving around the area of the entire room, picking up the scattered things.

 

“From any other creature there would not have been any ash left in your place If it managed to get into this room the same way you did.I want you to realize that you are dear to me, but also how you’re close to the edge. I'll tell you - it's a manifestation of my disposition, but the next time you get itchy to get answers from me in such an impudent way again, you better bite yourself” 

If the look could incinerate, Theron would have already blazed. 

 

"How do you think Vitiate was destroyed? He himself, Senya, all of their children, we were all in my mind. In short: I allowed the whole family to overfill me, then to expel everything that is not me. It worked. And now I can ask permission to enter the heads of those who survived. Is there a Vishayt in any state that can be reborn again? Probably. One of the many goals of our relationship is to find out. There is also a side effect: sensations in a certain sense are sometimes very strong. If you compare the information you just received and the free position of a known person, you will be able to understand a lot. That's all.”

 

Commander was fully dressed at the door of her chambers, intent on getting out and taking Theron with her.

"I'm so angry at you that I can not fall asleep again."

  
  


After this conversation, the Commander began spend more time with Arkann. Not being in the campaign, they meditated for a long time, then they trained and in the evenings they just stood on the viewing platform and talked like old friends. Increasingly silently. And if they were aloud, how long ago passed the moment when they began to call each other by name instead of callsigns? When they got this vulgar joke "as Your Excellency wishes"? Was this hot whisper "Yes, my Prince", "Yes, my Empress" ..?

Let the Force be curced which allowed the royal bastard to get close to his ... no, Teron could no longer call her his beloved. He tried to imagine that the separation of the Commander and Arkann could cause both of them physical pain, but even if it’s true, whyTheron is so ignominiously ignored?

With whom else could you share your experiences? Lana looked away.

"You do not have to discuss this with me. Wait or act, discarding doubts. Just try not to die.”

 

Once in the middle of the next meeting, Arkann entered the hall with a huge bouquet of magnificent, not Odessian flowers, and, kneeling down, presented it to the Commandant with the words: "To the anniversary of your new birth. Because of me, you are five years younger. "

She looked at the prince at first with a mixture of discontent and anxiety, and then she laughed gruffly, embracing the bouquet.

"It would make sense, my friend, if the carbonite did not poisoned my body little by little."

"I'll find a way to fix it," the prince replied, and kissed the Commander's hand sensually. In front of everyone presence.

Theron met Commander’s gaze and thought "what the hell is going on?"

And in response heard her voice clearly repeating "after all you understood everything for a long time," although she did not say anything. Wait, she just said that she only gets into other people's minds with permission? Maybe it did?

 

Something bad was coming. How many days or weeks have passed in the haze?

  
  


Bored Theron found himself in a distant jungle of the thick Odessen forests. The day was free, which was even more terrifying for its hopelessness. What cruel joke of the ways of the Force, what terrible form of fate brought him here, at this hour, for he saw what he saw and could never forget?

Little by little the waterfall was drowning quietly in the lush green vegetation, the suspension of microscopic water spray splashed the rainbow, which the tree crowns divided into individual velvet flaps. Melodic clicking of some creatures hiding in the bushes reminded singing, and the air on this day was unusually fresh and gentle. And in the heart of this idyllic landscape unfolded Theron’s personal apocalypse.

The heart froze at first, then jumped into a throat and finally sank into the abyss suddenly opened somewhere under the spleen. Queasiness took him.

Commander stood with her eyes closed, her head thrown back, without her armor, and the upper part of the robes was tucked up to the breasts, which she palmed herself. In front of the Commander Arkann stood on his knees and, squeezing her thighs with his hands, touched his lips lightly to the scar from the light sword, which he had once left by himself.

Theron’s mind yelled "turn around and leave," but not a single muscle obeyed, even the eyelids refused to go down, to hide this nightmare. Theron burst into tears and watched the prince's lips continue to kiss Commander’s stomach unhurriedly, and his hands slowly crawled upward. The Commander let out a long groan, vaguely looked at Arkann, stroked his face and sharply diggeg into his mouth. Again in the place of elegant female hands, gently caressing the shoulders of lover, the suffocating tentacles of a mollusc seemed.

Theron forced himself to leave before the prince undressed completely.

 

It seems that people jumped aside when he walked around the base, didn’t been able to hear or react at all. He stopped only when he was blocked by thrilled Lana, ready to rush to save his life in any way.

"What happened?" You're not yourself, Theron. What happened? Attack? Has someone died?”

He looked at his colleague in surprise, and then he listened to the senses and suddenly realized that he felt not the pain and emptiness but the shock and pacification. He seemed to be collecting the puzzle inside out, but as soon as he turned the canvas over all the details suddenly came together. What happened could have been predicted for a long time, but he was blinded by illusion and authority. Сommander is a great woman, but a windy as well no doubt, not like Teron, for even he himself has ceased to be so.”

“Lana, everything as it supposed to be from now on .”

"I do not understand you."

He looked into her troubled eyes. For some reason, only now he saw all their bottomless beauty. Amber, drowning in the rays of the setting sun. A fascinating glow of the dark side imprint. And those golden hair ... And the name? ..

“Lana ... I'm free. My soul is free, my heart no longer hurts.”

“I guess what you're talking about, but I would advise you not to get excited.”

"No, I'm sure absolutely." Theron did not remember when he was smiling so broadly for the last time.

Lana stood very close and smelled of sweet honey and spices. How did he not notice this before? Habit. They worked together for so long and the Commander - their kind of project. It was not a sin to fall in love with your own creation, but stupid. Over the past few years, only Lana was closer than anyone else, she was the most reliable, faithful and judicious person, the only friend in the galaxy known to him. Almost always close, ready to help with word and deed. She was not dark or cold - for him here and now Lana become the best.

Theron reached out to embrace her and she let him. Burying his nose in a warm neck, he would like to think that he simply wandered for a long time to meet her or maybe she waited patiently. He firmly decided that he would not allow his unexpected illumination to be the result of an affect. Everything will do for it.

Please, let this time be real.

 


End file.
